Hello my dearly dedicated friends and faithful followers! All I can do is apologize sincerely from the bottom of my heart for my laziness in blogging. I think part of me just seems unsettled as I tend to move every 6-9 months that I feel like my life is in constant disarray. Then, I make inner vows of “when I get settled, I’ll start….” It seems like as soon as I start to “get settled,” I’m starting over again with packing my stuff up to move again. I don’t recommend it!

I honestly remember writing about Fall 2013- I have no idea what happened to that entry? So, I’m looking back through my records of dialysis for those months trying to remember what had occurred during that timeframe and now, I’ll do my best to re count the events.

My first topic- An Ideal Home. I had met a wonderful woman through a support group that approached me asking if I attended Life Church. From that moment, our friendship blossomed and was changed forever! We stayed up late at night talking many nights as we had similar challenges with living with a chronic illness. Then, a month or so later, she was asking me to consider being her roommate. She wanted me to come look at her house before I committed. I didn’t feel like I really needed to, it sounded perfect. I did look at it to get an idea of what it would be like. It was an ideal home. A little ranch house with no stairs, had a fenced in backyard for my dog, I had my own bathroom, I had additional space for storage with use of the guest room; I could cook as often as I liked. Not to mention location, location, location! It was close to my folks, my dialysis clinic, my nanny job, and the rent was ideal! How could I turn it down? I wasn’t having any luck any where else to move and my window of time to be out of the place I was living, was getting shorter and shorter, nearing the cutoff date. As always, God provided! Even though sometimes it’s in the ninth hour.

I moved Saturday, Sept 28, 2013. It was a rainy day and I had very little help. So, I knew it was going to be an all day event. Ugh! For the time being, I got to put a lot of stuff in the garage, just to get it moved, then I would figure it later, where it will all go. I couldn’t wait too long, as winter would be upon us, and my roommate needed to park her car in the garage.

The second topic- Trouble with Order. Since I was moving, and my delivery date for my dialysis solution just so happened to fall near the day I was moving; I thought it would be best to have my order sent to my new residence so I wouldn’t have to move all those heavy boxes. Little did I know, what a goose chase it would be… I just re read my 8.5 page detailed account and grievance of not receiving my order as scheduled, it stirred up frustrating emotions in me. I had forgotten what a huge dilemma I was in at that time! Wow! It took about 8 days to receive my order and I had gotten down to my last 2 bags of solution. I had to speak with the Regional Manager of Operations to get things resolved! In a nutshell, my order was “supposedly” transferred to a courier service to deliver. They never delivered. I had to call the courier service a few times, they never answered their phone nor returned my voicemails. I had a friend call them because I think they were screening my calls as I did not leave pleasant messages. My friend was on hold for almost 30 minutes, waiting to talk with the owner. He was very rude, lied to me about my order and had the audacity to hang up on me. It turns out, my delivery was in the warehouse of the original company that delivers my solution the entire time! HUGE miscommunication on many levels!

My third topic- Lots of cramping. Again, looking back in my charts, I noticed my notes of pain and cramping all throughout the months September, October, November, and I used heparin on a regular basis due to protein clots, probably stemmed from the cramping. There were also a couple times noted of vomiting or dry heaves, which I found extremely interesting. (More on that topic, a little later)

My last topic- Another call. It was Sunday, Oct 20, 2013; I received a call close to 10 am. I was busy getting my my make up to go to church when my phone rang. I look down and see that it’s an 816 area code and could be a call for a transplant? My heart started to beat a little bit faster. I answered and recognized the voice immediately. Sure enough, it was my nurse letting me know that I had a kidney offer. I cannot recall if I was first. I continued getting ready for church like I had planned because I wouldn’t know for several hours if I was going to go to the hospital. What better way to occupy my mind and time than by worshiping the Lord at church and seeing some friends? I remember holding my phone in one hand while raising my other hand in worship. I didn’t want to miss any calls. Once I returned home from church, the craziness of phone calls began~ finding someone to watch Chloe, letting my family I nanny for know, I may not be available to care for her kids that week, then calling immediate family and close friends to let them know that I may be getting my transplant, and then packing my suitcase. I vaguely remember my nurse calling back in the early evening, letting me know that the testing got gotten delayed a little and that it would be another couple hours before she knew any results. Oh the agony of waiting! The multiple phone calls and text messages of friends and family asking for updates… I think the next call I will get, I will wait to notify friends and family until I know for sure. It’s too much to keep up with! Needless to say, I did get the transplant that day. Again, a sigh of relief and back to “normal life.”

I try not get myself super excited when I get a call, because I don’t want to have this huge let down. I have “trained” my mind, to go with the flow- if it happens, great, if not, that’s perfectly okay, it wasn’t the right one, and mine’s “just around the corner…”

Thanks again for your incredible dedicated encouragement, love and support!

Carmen