Hello friends,<\/p>\n
Thank you again for your patience.\u00a0 I know you are probably all waiting on pins and needles to find out how I am doing.\u00a0 My apologies as I really have not had the energy to check nor compose emails the past few days.<\/p>\n
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First of all, I want to share that I did not have to have the chest catheter.\u00a0 This is such a relief!\u00a0 The Dr. canceled it about 5pm Thursday, July 30. 2009. I was ecstatic! I only have to have one hole in me!\u00a0I kept thinking\u2013 how am I going to wash my hair?\u00a0 You laugh- it\u2019s true.\u00a0 Where the catheter would be placed- one could not take showers and get the area wet.\u00a0 Since the insides of me are not doing so well, the least I can do, is look pretty good on the outside (having clean hair); especially since many of you want to visit me.<\/p>\n
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Some more good news- as nervous as I was about the procedure as I hated the thought of having more holes in me with an\u00a0IV\u00a0,since my previous not so good experience, and I am\u00a0just not a person that enjoys being in pain- my blood pressure was on the normal to low\u00a0side.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t believe it- 127\/83 and after the surgery, it was like 116\/75!\u00a0 You have no idea how long it\u2019s been since I have had numbers like this!<\/p>\n
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So after making it home;\u00a0feeling very groggy and not quite sure of state of mind- I crawl my way upstairs to bed.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t keep my eyes open, yet I hurt so bad that it was hard to sleep comfortably.\u00a0 Do you know what it\u2019s like to only to\u00a0be able to sleep on\u00a0your back?\u00a0 Do you have any idea how much you use your stomach muscles to get in and out of bed?\u00a0 Lord give me strength!<\/p>\n
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It\u2019s Sunday afternoon, and I am tired of being in bed and i was in the mood for some comedy.\u00a0 I scrolled through the guide and saw that in a few minutes, the movie Stepbrothers would be showing.\u00a0 Now, I love comedy- and they say laughter is the best medicine.\u00a0 Well, not so much when you have had surgery in your abdominal region.\u00a0 I suffered through the hilarious movie and seriously had to cover my mouth to keep myself from laughing out loud- the pain was too much.<\/p>\n
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My wonderful dad, walks in front of me down the steps, protecting me, just in case I am dizzy and cannot walk too straight. He\u00a0caters to my every need.\u00a0Another example, we had\u00a0grilled steak the other night- I was struggling cutting my meat- my dad reached over, took my plate; and cut up my meat.\u00a0 Talk\u00a0about extreme humility. It\u2019s still so strange to not be able to do\u00a0these simple things.<\/p>\n
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I had my first appointment at the dialysis clinic yesterday (Monday)- after signing my life away a couple dozen times, I went to one of the back rooms and was trying to learn what\u2019s next. The nurse there, I have to tell you, she\u2019s great!\u00a0 She reminds me of \u201cFrenchie\u201d in Grease.\u00a0 It cracks me up. She needed to change my bandages and to test out my catheter.\u00a0Every time\u00a0one does any touching with the catheter, anyone and everyone in the room has to wear a mask.\u00a0 It\u2019s to keep the area as sterile as possible, avoiding any possible infections. The nurse was talking to me trying to keep me distracted-\u00a0I was curious to see this object inside me; now I wish\u00a0I hadn\u2019t watched as I cannot get that graphic image out my mind.\u00a0\u00a0Do you know\u00a0what it\u2019s like to see like a bee bee sized hole inside you with a clear straw that is sticking out of your stomach?\u00a0 I held\u00a0back the\u00a0tears.\u00a0 I have to say, it really hit me and it sunk it that all is this real\u00a0and actually\u00a0happening.<\/p>\n
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Now, the testing of the\u00a0tube\u2013 all the\u00a0nurse needed to do was do a test flushing\u00a0of the catheter, to make sure it\u00a0works.\u00a0Her exact words\u00a0were: \u201cnow, it\u2019s going to feel a little funny.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s always interesting to interpret other peoples use of words.\u00a0 Funny?\u00a0 I would not say that it felt, funny.\u00a0 Honestly, I cannot express the feeling- it was Not something I expected!\u00a0It was an uncomfortable feeling- like someone was putting a great deal of pressure on me and\u00a0it also stung. My eyes got really big and the nurse freaked out- \u201cdon\u2019t look at me like that, Carmen!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0Then, came the\u00a0too familiar feeling of passing out.\u00a0 The room is starting to get darker, I am beginning to sweat.\u00a0 I had to speak up and let the nurse know\u2013 I wanted to rip off the mask; but I couldn\u2019t.\u00a0 I just closed my eyes and starting praying\u00a0Lord help me through this, please!<\/p>\n
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It took a long time for me to get to sleep last night- I kept replaying things over and over in my head and questioning how I am going to get through this? I can only imagine what Jesus Christ had face as he was begging God not to let him die on the cross.\u00a0 I was begging God to take the images from my mind, to give me peace to sleep, and to not let me continue this suffering.<\/p>\n
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To wrap things up\u2013 I am still working on my face book page- I hope to have it \u201cpublished\u201d very soon.\u00a0 I have received a couple great\u00a0ideas for names- please keep them coming.\u00a0 My brain is not working at it\u2019s full creative capacity as my body is full of toxins.\u00a0 I have received several comments how talented I am at writing\u2026 well, I am very blessed and will give this new adventure some serious thought and prayer.<\/p>\n
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I am still waiting to hear from KU Med and moving forward with the process of transplant-\u00a0 I do know that if you are highly considering being tested, please give blood at the community center to find out your blood type. If you already know, that is great.<\/p>\n
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Please continue to pray for strength, wisdom, peace, healing, and for a perfectly matched donor.<\/p>\n
I would love to know what is going on with each of you! Please don\u2019t feel obligated that you have to reply to my emails- I write them to let a few hundred people know the status of things. If you don\u2019t want to be updated, please let me know, too.\u00a0 I promise I will not be offended.<\/p>\n
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Blessings to you and yours,<\/p>\n
Carmen<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hello friends, Thank you again for your patience.\u00a0 I know you are probably all waiting on pins and needles to find out how I am doing.\u00a0 My apologies as I really have not had the energy to check nor compose emails the past few days. First of all, I want to share that I
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